i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
