she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
