Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
