If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
