Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
