so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My feet surprised me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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