Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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