I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
