she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
