people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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