barbara walters just said penis...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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