Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize