yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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