Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
