Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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