She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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