You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
