its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
two words: eviction party
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
