he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
