I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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