Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
