Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize