god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
