Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hello my rib-scented angel!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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