Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you still have your period?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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