So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
