this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
