Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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