Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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