Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
