Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
