porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
