I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize