Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
