Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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