it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
