my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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