And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Boobs speak an international language.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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