but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
