Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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