Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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