Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
how drunk are you?
Several
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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