My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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