So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
