Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
