we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
