Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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