i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
