i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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