Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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