So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
