Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
