don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
