R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
