so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
