ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
