Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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