right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Where are you guys?
Drunk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
